


Destiny Meets Reality

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Points of View, Romance, Sequel, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-25
Updated: 2008-07-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 23:21:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12069036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Sequel to Jagged Destiny. What happens when Brian realizes that the Stud of Liberty Ave. has a boyfriend?





	1. Hidden Destiny

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Justin’s POV

I smile at Brian across the table, so happy that I think my heart will explode. Brian and I have been doing so well for the last two months and it almost couldn’t be better. I say ‘almost’ because the truth of the matter is I’m Brian’s ‘dirty little secret’. I still work at the diner and I live with Deb now but I still can’t tell her that Brian and I even know each other, except as server/customer.

Most of the time it’s fine but I really hate when he is in the diner with the gang and he acts as if he doesn’t know me. Then I get the dubious pleasure of sometimes hearing him talk about the latest trick. I know that he still tricks and sometimes I despair ever getting him to stop but it’s something he needs right now and I won’t take that away from him.

Of course we’ve had a couple of conversations about his tricking because try as I might, when faced with evidence of it I can’t just sweep it away. It always shows whether it's on my face, in my attitude or wherever; he can always tell that it bugs me. And every time he seems surprised, which worries me because he doesn’t seem to understand why I’d be annoyed.

Flashback

“What are you upset about? You know they mean nothing?” Brian asks, frustration already evident in his voice.

“Let’s not have this discussion again.” I say in my most seductive voice, while taking his hand and leading him to the shower, to wash off the smell of the other men. I know this will get me nowhere and I’m too tired to fight the same fight yet again.

End Flashback

“Hey. Where’d you go?” Brian asks, a mix between curiosity and concern painting his face.

I shake my head at myself and Brian, chastising myself for allowing my thoughts to show on my face but at the same time trying to get him to drop it. I want to have fun tonight. We’re out at a very lavish restaurant, having a pleasant sit-down dinner and just talking. It’s a ‘date’ and when I teased Brian about it when he asked me, he didn’t even wince at that the word.

We have been doing so many things I would never have expected Brian to do so easily - although they have all been far away from Liberty Avenue or any place he thinks someone he knows would go, it’s been awesome. We have been to a bunch of different restaurants, some good, some great, and one that was laughably bad. I feel a smile cross my face as I remember that night.

Flashback

We jump into the Jeep and I’m already hounding Brian as to where we are going. He likes our dates to be a surprise most times so he doesn’t tell me where we’re going and for some reason any begging and pleading on my part never helps, with this that is. But nonetheless, I try every time.

“I’m not telling you, you…” I cut him off with a look, my look telling him he better choose his next words carefully. “you exceedingly, handsome pain in my ass.” he finishes with a smirk.

“Oh really?” I start with a smirk of my own, “so when do I get to be this pain in ‘your’ ass?” I say, my meaning obvious with my words but I add a lift of my brow, reminiscent of his when he turns the corniest things into sexual innuendo.

“Maybe when you get to be a ‘big’ boy.” he says with a smirk.

“Oh. I already am a big boy and you know it.” I say with a leer and grab his hand and place it over my cock, which is still impressive in size even when soft.

“Oh yeah, I forgot. I guess I’ll have to remind myself,” Brian says, his own face adopting a leer as he slowly slides down my zipper, revealing my cock to the air for a moment before wrapping his hand firmly around it and stroking and kneading it with his talented hand.

“Oh, oh, oh.” I mumble as my dick lengthens and hardens under his expert ministrations.

He’s stroking me quickly with little finesse, just trying to get me off before we get to the restaurant. When I try to reach over to ‘give him a hand’ as well he shakes his head at me and whispers “This is for you.”

A couple minutes later I’m panting, trying to regain some of the sense that always escapes me whenever Brian touches me. As my heart rate starts to slow I notice that Brian has a ‘pleased with himself’ smirk on his face and I know that it’s not just from giving me a hand job. Then it hits me. The grin is because he thinks he has distracted me from my mission of finding out where we’re going. I think back and realize that almost every time he has wanted to distract me about something, he does something sexual because he knows my brain takes a vacation as soon as he even looks at me lustfully.

An evilness streaks through me and although all I want to do is lay my head on his shoulder and recover slowly from my orgasm I use all my will power and launch back into my campaign to figure out where we’re going.

“So where are we going? Come on. Tell me, please!” I beg and he groans. 

Another five minutes of this and I can tell Brian’s at his wits’ end. I don’t know whether I should stop or not when he answers my question for me.

“Will you just let it go?” he snaps. “Listen to some music or something. We’re almost there.” His exasperation clear in his voice and I take him at his word and flick on the stereo. 

A couple of dial changes later and I find a song I like. I lean back in my seat relaxing, listening to the music for only a second when Brian speaks again.

“What the fuck is that?” he asks, disbelief running riot in his voice. “If this is a new form of torture I’m still not telling you where we are going, so change it.”

“What do you mean? I like this song” I demand.

“Fuck. That shit sucks. You could just spin the dial and find something better then that.” he bitches and to prove his point he reaches out and spins the dial. After a second it stops and a song is just starting which I recognize. A quick glance in Brian’s direction assures me that he doesn’t though.

“So you like this one?” I ask him, trying to keep the evilness I’m feeling out of my voice.

“Yeah, it’s a hell of a lot better than the shit you were listening to.” he answers the affirmative even though I can tell by the look on his face that he still doesn’t know what song he has put on. I hold my laughter for another few seconds until her voice plays and the horror of what happened shows on his face.

We walk into the restaurant, me still laughing at Brian while he tries to smack me in the head. I duck again and keep taunting him.

“You like ‘Britney Spears.’” I say, my voice full of laughter.

“Shut up, you little twat or you’re walking home, I swear to God.” Brian threatens in mock irritation although I can tell he’s getting embarrassed about the situation and getting pissed that he is getting embarrassed.

Finally the hostess comes to seat us and the teasing stops for a moment when we get a look at our surroundings. The place is cramped and dark which at another point might be romantic but it doesn’t look all that clean. I try to hide the grimace I feel wanting to break through but Brian looks pissed. He hates things even slightly untidy.

End Flashback

I can feel my smile grow as I remember Brian’s reactions from all the things that happened that night, from the horrible service to the food, which even a ‘garbage gut’ like me couldn’t eat.

“Where are you now?” Brian inquires when it becomes evident to him that I have drifted off yet again.

“I was thinking about our dinner at Charcoal, it was so bad.” I answer with a laugh.

“’Bad’ doesn’t even begin to describe that horrible place. Why the hell would you be smiling when thinking about that?” Brian growls a little but I can tell by the light that comes into his eyes that he knows exactly why. The place might have been horrible but we were great.

Brian’s POV

I look at Justin with a slight smile warming my face, whereas before meeting him, what he was doing would have brought a smirk and harsh comment. Shit! He’s being all soft and happy about us going to what ended up being a horrible restaurant.

God. I couldn’t believe it. I pick a restaurant for one of our ‘dates’ and everything about it was awful. It was dirty, the service was atrocious, and even Justin couldn’t eat the food. I have never been in a worse restaurant but…

But I had the best time. Shit. We were laughing so hard that the staff at that shitty place shot us dirty looks all night . They should have been glad we weren’t screaming in horror and running away. 

I find my smile growing as I think about that night. I know that this is exactly what Justin felt when he thought about it which makes me feel even better knowing that I make him happy because he makes me happy as well. Not that it needs to be made common knowledge. 

A thought enters my mind unheeded. If that’s what made him look so happy, what was he thinking that made him so sad? I quickly realize that I don’t even have to ask that question. There are three things he thinks about that make him sad. His family, which I haven’t been able to do anything about. I have tried to contact them but as soon as his ‘piece of shit’ father found out why I was calling he screamed that he had no son and hung up on me. But don’t doubt that I will figure something out.

The next two are about me. Well, us, I guess. The first is that I won’t stop tricking, which pisses me off to no end because he said I didn’t have to. But still it hurts him and I hate hurting him which pisses me off even more. And the second is that he is still my ‘dirty little secret’ as he likes to call it.

For some reason, though I know that look he had was about me, I wish I could do something about it. I hate to see him unhappy but I can’t be monogamous. I don’t believe in it. It’s just a trap and who the hell would want to fuck only one person for the rest of their lives? I mean, that’s how you start to resent the other person and hate them and I don’t want that to happen to Justin and I. Plus fuck, it’s my right as a gay man to fuck anyone I want.

Maybe I can do something about the other thing, I’m not ready to walk in the diner and declare him my ‘boyfriend’ or whatever the fuck you would call us. But maybe I can stop being so careful to keep him completely out of the rest of my life.

I know I’m not ready to deal with everything that my ‘family’ will throw at us and I sure as hell am not going to introduce him to my real family but I guess I can let him in a little more.

“Next week is ‘Pride’, want to go?”


	2. Showing Destiny

Deb’s House - First Day of “Pride”

I pull off my clothes once again, my third outfit I have tried on today, still not satisfied with how I look. I want to make a great impression today because although I know Brian won’t be trying to introduce me to the gang it could happen and we both know it. 

I know as well, if not better than Brian all the things people are going to see wrong with us being together. They are going to look at me and just see a teenager and that will automatically make me unsuitable for Brian. Also from having met the gang as ‘waiter Justin’ I know what they have to say about Brian. So I know once they all know about us we are going to have to deal will those perceptions as well.

I just want the first meeting to go so well that they won’t have anything else to hold against us. And Brian cares so much about his appearance that I don’t want the way I look to reflect badly on him. I know that when he jokes with me about the clothes I wear mostly he’s just joking, but I also know there’s a grain of truth in it because he’s so anal about the way he looks.

I throw another set of clothes on, look in the mirror once again, and sigh with relief. I’m finally happy with my reflection. I look down at the black slacks I’m wearing, not too dressy but not my normal “bum around” clothes. I had picked them up for work but never wore them because tight jeans made me more money at the diner. 

On top of them I have a deep-blue t-shirt that’s tight enough to show off my body but not enough to look twinkish. I smile at my reflection because Brian loves me in blue, not as much as in red but I can already see his reaction in my head. At first, he might not say anything but at first opportunity he will slip up behind me and nuzzle my neck while running his hands all over my chest. 

He will get more into it quickly, his hands caressing my chest quickly turning into him tweaking my nipples as he journeys his way down my body. I bite off a moan when in my mind’s eyes Brian starts rubbing his cock against my ass.

“Justin. Get your bubble butt down here!” Deb yells up the stairs and I can’t help the groan that falls from my lips at the interruption of my fantasy. Although a glance at the clock tells me it’s a good thing because I didn’t have time to go where my mind was taking me.

“Yes?” I call as I tromp down the stairs.

“I have been trying to have a conversation with you all week but you’re never here…” She pauses, hoping once again that I’ll tell her where I’ve been but she continues when I remain silent. “Well, anyway. Today starts “Pride Week” and you’re going. It’s your first “Pride” and you can’t miss out, so I don’t care what other plans you have you’re just going to have to change them.” she demands, before I can say anything and I know that I have to tread carefully with this answer because she seems really serious about this and I don’t want to insult her but I can’t change my plans.

“Deb. Of course I plan on going to my first ‘Pride.’” I start but am cut off before I can say anything more.

“Why do I hear a “but” in that statement?” she demands loudly.

“Well, my other plans for today are to go to ‘Pride.’” I explain, holding my ground but hoping not to upset her.

Deb stares at me for a minute and I think that maybe she isn’t going to understand this but then she puts me out of my misery. “Well. Maybe I’ll see you and your secret, little boyfriend there.” she announces before beginning to turn away.

“Deb, I…” I once again start to refute her claim.

“Oh don’t bother lying to me, Sunshine. I’ve have a lot of boys and I know when they’re dating someone. Maybe someday soon though you’ll trust us enough to let us in on it.” She says and at the end I can see a little sadness in her eyes at the thought that I don’t trust her. I want to tell her right now to make the sadness go away but I know it’s a guilt trip she’s using on me. After the first time she asked me if I had a boyfriend Brian explained to me all the methods she uses to get things out of people. 

“Fine Deb, I’ll see you later,” I reply and kiss her on the cheek before I head out the door to meet Brian.

A Couple of Hours Later - After the Requisite Grope from Brian upon seeing how Hott Justin Looks

Brian’s POV

We’re almost there, almost to the street that “Pride” is centered around but already you can see the effects of it. Justin’s eyes are open wide, gawking at the outlandish clothing that many queers are wearing. Justin has seen “Bears”, “Leather Daddies”, and “Drag Queens” before but “Pride” brings out the weirdest dressed queers.

I shake my head at the clothing as Justin gawks at the strange sights. He feels wonder which is evident on his face while I feel a combination of disgust at the way lots many of the people are dressed and, well, pride at this moment because everyone is allowed to just be themselves, even if almost all of them take it to the extreme.

“Okay. Let’s get this freak show on the road.” I say as I stop the Jeep and ready to get out.

We meet up in front of the Jeep and start walking towards the spot I always use to watch the action. I walk a couple of feet when I feel Justin’s hand brush mine, I know he wants me to hold his hand but I can’t, not here. I step forward so another couple of inches form between us.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Justin’s face fall and I steel myself for him to say something about it but he remains silent. A couple of seconds later he sees a “drag queen” on stilts which brings his smile back, just considerably dimmer than it had been before.

I shake off the way that makes me feel and I try to pull the day out of the gutter as I start pointing out things, making him laugh at times and bringing out his never-ending curiosity at others. It’s something that with anyone else I would find completely annoying, the never-ending questions but with Justin it’s just who he is. 

We window-shop and check out all the vendors, picking up things for basically everyone we know. I, of course buy only designer things for myself but I’m watching Justin very closely, trying to figure out what I can get for him. Earlier on, when we first started doing stuff together he would be enthusiastic about anything he liked and I would basically get him anything he expressed or showed interest in despite his protests. So now when he sees something he likes, he does his best to keep his face neutral so I don’t know he likes it. 

It frustrates me to no end. What’s the sense of having money if you can’t spend it how you want to? We are definitely going to argue about this again because I like buying stuff for him but I’m not willing to do it in the middle of all these people so I just watch his expressions like a hawk. He isn’t as great at hiding his feelings as I am so it works for now.

We pick up a few more things, me secretly grabbing things for him and just basically enjoying our time together. As time passes I see the hurt I inflicted by not holding his hand ease and with it the weight in my chest eases. We’ve gotten some strange looks from people who know me, not that Justin has noticed but thankfully Justin hasn’t noticed.

“Are you going to just take the whole week off work?” Justin asks incredulously, knowing that I’m workaholic and I would lose a lot of money if I didn’t go into work at all this week.

“No. Of course that’s not what I want to do.” I answer in a slightly stinging voice. “I just wanted to be the one who showed you your first “Pride”. I knew that if I left it for another day someone would’ve beaten me to it and I wanted to see your face when you experience this for the first time.”

“It seems like you always want to be my ‘first time’.” Justin shoots back with a grin.

I reach over and tickle him, but the truth is that he is right .I to want to show him everything I want to explore the world with him and to see it through his eyes. The way he sees things is so different than the way I do and I love that he gets so excited over the littlest things. I just wish I could make him happy forever without having to lose parts of myself to do it.

We continue exploring the street and I know that we should hurry before we get caught. But I’m having so much fun. I forget for a minute that I’m hiding. Well. I’m hiding him. Ten minutes later my time runs out. There’s no warning, nothing, until I hear the unmistakable voice of Emmett.

“Brian! Oh, Brian! What are you doing down here during the day? During ‘Pride’?” The flashiest fairy asks me while sashaying up to me, followed as always by his boring, boring, boring best friend.

“Well, if it isn’t Temmett? I can see neither of you have found jobs.” I answer sarcastically, knowing that they both have jobs, but liking to tease them, nonetheless. They both let me ruffle their feathers, and it’s so much fun.

“Oh. We have jobs. Just because we’re not big-shot ad executives doesn’t mean anything. At least we have morals.” Emmett quips back, never one at a loss for words

“You only _think_ you have morals, girls. What you really have is a lack of opportunity. Both of you would fuck just as much as me except you’re not hot enough. If you were even reasonably attractive, maybe you wouldn’t be going home alone on Saturday nights, but sadly that’s not my problem.” I say in my nastiest voice, trying to keep them focused on me so they will ignore Justin. So far it’s worked, but I know my luck won’t hold out forever.

“Well, well, well. Who is the delicious blond?” Ted asks, his eyes already bugging out of his head. I know that Ted has a thing for twinkie blonds and just seeing him look at Justin makes me want to hurt him.

“Nobody for you. So get your eyes back in your head. He’s taken, so no touching. Got me?” I threaten loudly. Even though I know if I wanted to keep my association with Justin, quiet then I shouldn’t have threatened Ted. But there was nothing I could do when I saw him looking at my blond with lust in his eyes.

“Okay. Don’t worry I’m not going to touch. So who is he anyway?” Ted asks knowingly. I hate it but the truth of the matter is that Ted now has something over me. He has power and I’ll do anything I can to make him think that he doesn’t. It’s not that I’m ashamed of being with Justin. It’s just that I’m not ready to make it something it‘s not. Maybe I’ll never be ready, but I know I’m not ready right now. I know I care about him, but will I ever love him? Is there such a thing?

Justin’s POV

Brian and I are walking around checking out all the sites on Liberty Avenue. Everything is the same, but remarkably different. People on the street have never hidden who they are. However, today they’re out in droves, “leather daddies”, “drag queens”, and everybody else you can imagine.

This day is just as fun as all the others we’ve spent together exploring, laughing, joking and just spending time together. Street vendors selling their wares try their drag our attention from our little world within which only he and I exist. Their ploy is to make us buy things for those in our lives who mean something to us. Trinkets that one would normally never buy because it's kind of “touristy”, but you buy them anyway, just because it’s “Pride” and it's fun. 

My heart hurts a little from his cavalier words that I know that he doesn’t really mean. His reputation is so important to him that hurting me is a side effect. I know he doesn’t intend to hurt me and sometimes that’s all that gets me through the day, but still every wound he inflicts cuts deeper.

Finally, after exploring for about two hours a voice calls out to Brian, the voice of someone he knows. I wait as they banter back and forth cutting each other in a somewhat friendly way, picking on each other as only friends can. I wait for him to introduce me, to acknowledge me, to say anything but unfortunately, it is one of his friends who draws the attention to me.

One of his friends asks who the blond is, a plain-looking man with a creepy look of desire in his eyes. Brian automatically defends me and I’m so glad he did. I’m getting used to people hitting on me, or just plain wanting me but sometimes I still find it creepy, especially since this guy is really old. Ewww.

I know that Brian needs to say the right thing right now, because I am just so sick of not knowing who I am to him. Is this how it’s going to be? But I also know that I’ll deal with whatever he says because I love him so I just pray that he’ll say the right thing.

“This is somebody important to me and that’s all you need to know. I trust you enough to be certain that you won’t be sharing this information with anybody, don’t I? I won’t hear any gossip from others about “Kinney and the blonde”, will I?” This time his threat is colder. They need to know that they won’t be stepping on his toes about this. If they don’t want the “Stud of Liberty Avenue” to make their lives a living hell they won’t piss him off.

“Well, princess. Would you care to tell me how you and the “Big Bad” found each other? I was starting to get worried that Brian would never find anyone.” Emmet confides in me while Brian and Ted are talking. I already like Emmett even though I'm not sure about Ted.

I’m not sure how much I can share with him, but he’s just the kind of person that makes you want to share everything. I want to tell him about my family and my friends, everything. He is just one of those types of people. We sit and talk about nothing and everything as Brian and Ted talk about business or money. I find myself having fun, and I can tell by the look on Brian’s face that he’s enjoying it too.

Finally, after spending another hour with Emmett and Ted, we’re on our way. Brian has to go back to the loft and catch up on some of what he should have done at work today and I’m going to sketch while he works. He told me that we won’t have a lot of time together tomorrow because he has to spend the day making up for what he did not do today. But that maybe tomorrow night, if he gets enough done we could come down to the Avenue again and explore “Pride” some more. That puts a big smile on my face.


	3. Wasting Destiny

Heaven

"I can't believe Brian is acting like that. He's going to lose Justin. What is he thinking?" Brian's grandmother bitches. It seemed that she was on Justin's side in every argument.

"Well. You know that he has a hard time trusting people. You know what his childhood was like. You're always so hard on him; Justin is dealing with it. Why can't you?" Justin's grandmother retorts, sick of hearing all the complaints against Brian.

For better or worse, the women seemed to be on the side of their mate's grandchild. Neither woman understood that their love for the other made them softer to the grandchild that was so much like their loved one. They'd both already gone through so much of what their grandchildren are going through now and they didn't want to see it happening again.

"They will learn. We'll be there to guide them. You have to give Brian a chance. He's grown so much in the short time that he's known Justin. Just give him more time." Geraldine defends Brian once again.

"I know that, Geraldine. Don't you think I know that?. But I'm just so frustrated that I have to watch it over and over again. I've already lived it." Caitlin says a hushed voice.

Pride.

Justin's POV.

I snuck down to Liberty Avenue today after my shift. Brian and I will be out here later, but I don't know, for some reason, I want to see it by myself. I don't want to be with anyone else, to have their views taint how I see it, plus being with someone else really limits my time to sketch. I found a little cobblestone wall and perched myself upon it. I'm just observing everything around me and sketching anything that catches my eye. Although Brian is by far my favorite model, sometimes I feel the need to draw something else.

Sketching is an escape for me. Sometimes when my life fills with stress from the outside world the only thing I can do, the only power I have to fight it with is to curl up with my sketchbook and lose the world completely. The problem right now isn't just one thing. It's the same things that have been bugging me forever now.

Sometimes I think that maybe they're right, all those people who tell me that being gay is evil and bad and that I'll be punished for my sins. I worry about that sometimes. Of course, I can keep that worry down to a minimum, but still, I worry about my father and my mother and sister and even Brian. I worry about their lives, whether they'll still love me along with a billion other things that make me apparently the worrywart that Brian calls me.

"Justin? You're Justin. Right?" A voice calls out to me, and when I look up it's that same flashily-dressed friend of Brian's that I met yesterday. A smile stretches across his face as I answer back.

"Yeah. That's me. You're Emmett. Right?" I ask, a beaming smile already spreading across my face; I know that I can get information about Brian from him and while I would never ask anything personal, because that would be a violation of trust, I would love to know more about him as Brian's not a talker.

"Yeah. That's me! So do you want to tell me how you and 'bad boy' Kinney met?" Emmett asks as he sits down beside me.

"Well, I don't think it'll come as a surprise, but we met on "Liberty Avenue" in front of 'Babylon'." I answer truthfully.

"Aren't you too young to be in front of "Babylon?" Hell, anywhere on "Liberty Avenue" at that time of night?" Emmett returns in a concerned voice.

"I'm not a child and I would appreciate it if you don't treat me like one." I answer harshly, "I don't know why people insist on infantilizing me. Is it the blond hair, blue eyes, or the pretty smile?" I question closely, irritated that even this person who seems so juvenile treats me like a baby.

"Oh, Princess. Retract the claws. I didn't mean anything by it. I just worry about you and I don't know why. There's just something about you, that makes me want to protect you, probably the same way with everybody, even Brian and that's not usual for him. You've got what everyone wants and no-one has ever been able to have. How ever did you pull it off? You got Brian for more than it takes to get off and that's a miracle." he asks me with a catty smile on his face.

We sit around gossiping for a few hours getting to know each other, him asking questions I wouldn't dream of answering about Brian and me and me gleaning little things about Brian from him even though I'm pretty sure he didn't have any idea I was doing it. Finally he has to go back to work. I go with him and check out where he works ,- a clothing store called "Torso."

I walk out of "Torso" about half an hour later, with sexy clothes that I'm sure Brian won't approve of being the "label queen" he is but he'll love seeing me in them. I'm heading back to Deb's to shower and change for whatever our plans are for tonight. I can't wait to see Brian again even though it's been less than a day.

A Couple of Hours Later.

We are once again heading towards Liberty Avenue to check it out again tonight after another hot, hot scene between us when he saw the new clothes I bought. I can't dwell on that or I'll never think of anything else because once my mind's in the gutter it never comes out. I can't think about the look across that crossed his face when he opened the door to see me. Or the way he dragged me into his arms to immediately kiss me, falling on my lips, his mouth devouring mine, giving me no chance to breathe until oxygen became necessary. The whole time he was kissing me he was backing me up towards the bedroom. I only realized we were moving when my feet hit the bottom stair. I stumbled up them as he pulled his mouth away from my lips and concentrated on my neck, kissing, nibbling and sucking on it as I moaned. I had already lost coherent thought and he was making it hard for me to control my body.

Within moments, I was on the bed and he was ripping off my clothes. His desperation to reach my naked flesh was only met with mine to reach his as I returned the favor, trying to get his clothes off as fast as possible, without ripping off the buttons. Soon we were both naked and he quickly prepared me before sliding into me as if that was his home. It all went fast, both of us thrusting and meeting each other in the middle, needing to get off so badly.

A couple of minutes later, and another vicious hit to my prostate my orgasm triggered his and while I screamed out his name and he groaned groaned mine.

I shake my head, trying to clear those thoughts and concentrate on now., I have already told Brian about my time with Emmett earlier. I had thought about not telling him, but I don't want there to be any secrets between us. He didn't seem to have a problem with this and he said that Emmett would keep it a secret. Brian said that Emmett was trustworthily, even if he is "flaming" as Brian so nicely puts it. He said he worries a little bit about Ted but knew that the man was scared enough of him not to push him too far. I'm not sure what that says about my boyfriend. I can call him my boyfriend in my head all I want because he can't hear me. I'm not scared of him and I guess that's what counts.

"So, Blondie. Have fun today?" Brian asks as we start our walk. We are going deeper into the heart of Liberty Avenue tonight, and more people than I ever imagined are here walking the streets. Whereas normally we would be walking side-by-side tonight it is more me in front of him. He has his left arm wrapped around my stomach and his right arm over my shoulder. His hands are linked across my chest and his breath blows in my ear as he talks.

"Like I told you, I hung out with Emmett and we talked and I sketched some. Of course, that was after working my shift at the diner. What about you? How was your day at work?"

"Well, I still can't stand my boss and I'm getting fed up, pulling in all the money and accounts and still being his little Toby." Brian answers in a frustrated voice.

"Have you given any more thoughts to opening your own agency?" I asked, worried about Brian and knowing that he deserves better.

"You do know that's what I've always wanted? Well, that and New York but it's a lot of capital, and I just don't have it right now." He replies, his voice regretful.

We continue talking about his work, my dreams, and everything else you can think of as we wait for the show to start. Every night of "Pride", there is a different form of entertainment, all culminating in the "Pride" Parade at the end of the week. Brian likes to pretend that he is separated from his community, the gay community but the truth is he enjoys this.

Brian's POV

Once again we are on Liberty Avenue and having a great time, and once again, we're interrupted. Not that I have any clue why I thought that we could be on Liberty Avenue and do things without everybody and their mother knowing we're here. This time I see them before they see me. It's Melanie and Lindsay, the " munchers."

I try to steer Justin and I away from them but no such luck, because as soon as I start pointing him away from them Lindsay calls out to me.

"Brian, w.. What are you doing down here?" Lindsay calls across the crowd and starts coming towards me, her wife trailing behind with a sour look on her face.

"Well, if it isn't the "merry munchers." What are you two doing down here? One might think you have lives." I answered sarcastically, really just trying to get a rise out of Melanie. It's my favorite past-time.

"Well. Just because we don't fuck everything that walks doesn't mean that we don't have lives. It just means that ours are meaningful, but you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you?" Melanie answers in her snaky little snarl.

I feel myself gearing up for a fight and I can tell Melanie is as well. But before my mouth can open to make another comment Justin puts his hand on my shoulder, his very touched calming me. Then I watch as Lindsay does the same to Melanie and I realize that is something that couples do.

The thought that we are acting like the "munchers" causes a shiver to run down my spine. There is nothing I want to have in common with lesbians, and that thought makes me yank my arm away from Justin. As much as I like Justin, I will not be turning into a lesbian for him.

I start back at Melanie because I can, and she sends me a look that if looks could kill I'd be six feet under. But to keep Lindsay happy she doesn't say anything. I watch as Melanie tilts her head, and I know that I'm about to be blasted somehow.

"So. Who's the blond? Another trick?" Melanie sneers, her icy glare now on Justin.

"He's nobody," I answer harshly, before turning the conversation away from myself.

I can tell they are both still curious. I steer the conversation away from Justin and I and onto them. There is nothing that women like more than to talk about themselves. Melanie is still staring at Justin and me like she wants to know something, but she lets it go. Lindsay is looking at Justin as if he is the answer to some cosmic question, but still she keeps her mouth shut.

I continue talking to the girls for a few minutes. Justin is drawn into the conversation by the girls and he acts like his polite "Wasp" self the entire time. A couple of minutes into the conversation Lindsay pulls me aside. I know what she's going to ask before she asks it but still I let her. She once again hints around about me fathering a child for her and Melanie and once again I let her down easy.

It's not the fact that I don't want to do this for them. It's simply the fact that I have no interest in being a father. Well. That's not true. It's just that I didn't have a role model as a child and I don't want to continue the legacy of my father with my child. Don't get me wrong. There is an ache in me that says I wish I could have a child. but I'm so afraid I will repeat my father's mistakes. I truly have no clue how to be a father so I will say "no" again and again.

Finally, Lindsay has given up for now, and the girls go on their way. Justin and I stand there and watch them go. As soon as they are out of sight, I turn to him expecting an outburst, only to see his back fading as he walks away as well.

"Justin! Justin! Where are you going?" I call out to him.

"I'm going to find someone to do something with. You should do so as well. You wouldn't want to waste your time with "nobody" now. Would you?" He says as he fades from sight.


	4. Planning Destiny

Justin's POV

I walk away from Brian quickly, weaving in and out of people so that if he tries come after me he won't be able to catch me. Not that I think he will. It's not like him. "Nobody." I can't believe he called me "nobody." I know that we have a lot of problems and that Brian is not ready for any real kind of relationship but to be referred to as "nobody" kills me. It cuts deeper than any wound I can imagine. Even my parents' response after I came out is nothing like this.

I have no plans on finding someone else to do something with. I just need to get away from him. I didn't know what I would do if I had to look into his face any more. I feel my eyes stinging and I take deep breaths holding the tears at bay, not willing to cry not in the middle of all these people. I will cry when I'm in my own bed, and nobody is there to see me.

A few minutes later, I have made it through the crowd and am off Liberty Avenue. I turned myself in the direction of Deb's house and head there. All I want to do is curl up into a ball on my bed. I know that I have to come up with a plan on how to deal with Brian and I, but at this moment I don't know what I'm going to do. I know that I can't lose him and he needs more time before he can become what he has the potential to be, but I know it can't go on this way as well.

As soon as I see the house my fast walk becomes a run; I need to get upstairs and lock myself in before I see anybody I know. I hit the door running and make it up the stairs, taking two at a time. I don't know if there is anyone here but I do not want to face anyone who might be. I yank open my bedroom door and quickly shut it behind me, locking out anyone who might come see what the fuss is about.

As I throw myself on the bed the tears have already started. They aren't leaking down my face, they are streaming down my face as if they will truly wash out the pain. I only attempt to keep it quiet for a moment, but it quickly becomes apparent that nothing I can do will keep the sobs inside. Truthfully I don't know why I am reacting like this; I knew Brian would be hard work and he has hurt me unintentionally before, but I guess that's the point. I think this time he meant to hurt me. And if that's true, what hope do we have?

Brian's POV

As Justin disappears from view. I have the overwhelming urge to run after him, but I know I can't; I'm Brian Kinney. I don't run after anybody. When I can no longer see Justin. I look around the crowd. There are gorgeous men everywhere mingled with the freaks and normally I would be automatically trying to get into someones' pants. But this time my normal methods of pain management aren't going to cut it. I need to figure out what I'm going to do. I need to figure out what's going on, because I don't want to lose Justin.

I knew as soon as the words were out of my mouth that I had made a mistake but I truly thought he would just bitch at me. I never expected him to walk away. He has always had so much patience with me, that for some reason I was sure it wouldn't run out. I don't know what's going to happen now and that makes me afraid and the fact that I'm afraid irritates me more. I don't know what Justin and I are doing, but I know that I'm not ready for whatever it is, and the shitty thing is that I'm also not ready for it to be over either.

I glance around one more time wondering why I'm not going to grab a trick and be the stud I am but with a shake of my head I turn around and head back to the loft.

The Next Morning

Justin's POV

The need to urinate pulls me from my slumber, even though I would love to stay asleep and keep shutting the world out. I stumble from my bed and relieve myself before heading right back and plopping down on my bed again. Last night I cried all the tears I have and now I have to deal, . I have to come up with a plan, to figure out what I'm going to do about Brian and I.

There's no chance that I will end this thing between us, whatever it is. So I have to figure out how I can make it work for him and make it not as painful for me.

I lie here thinking about what to do as scenes of times of me and Brian together flash through my mind. After evaluating everything that we've done and said, I come to a hard decision. And although I'm not ending it, I know that this new way that I've decided to take our relationship will make it harder but hopefully less painful.

That Evening at Six O'Clock.

I head up to the loft, my mind made up but still with apprehension flowing through my body. I know Brian is here because his jeep is outside, but I don't know how he will react to me being here after last night.

After mounting the stairs I knock on the door even though I now have a key. I don't want to let myself in and for some reason, I just don't feel like I have the right any more. A few seconds later, Brian opens the door and I can see the surprise and relief on his face before he quickly masks it.

"Hey. You want to come in?" Brian asks, although there are a million more unasked questions in his eyes.

"Sure." I mumble as I walk past him into the loft. I don't go far because I don't feel comfortable which is weird because I've never really felt uncomfortable around him before.

"Well. I guess we have to talk?" Brian says, and I can see his walls being rebuilt. Well, the few walls that I actually got knocked down.

"We definitely do and I want to start out by saying that I'm sorry that I walked away from you last night. It was immature of me. I should have stayed and dealt with the problem." I start after we make ourselves comfortable on the couch.

"Justin, I understand..." Brian begins, before I cut him off.

"Please. Just let me get this out, okay? Before you say anything. I knew that you would have a hard time with our relationship and still I pushed and. Then when you reacted the way you did I got upset, even though I have no right to. So I think that we should reevaluate our relationship and figure out where we want to go from here or where it's feasible that it go from here.

Expecting that you would jump right into something you have never experienced before and something you have fought all your life against was stupid and childish of me. So I think that we should step back a little. I think that we shouldn't spend anymore time in public together and that way you won't run into those situations that put you on the spot. So when you want to be with me, you can call me or get a hold of me somewhere and I'll come over." I explained to him.

Brian just sits at there and stares at me for a few minutes, confusion and surprise warring across his face as he thinks about what I've said. He wants to say something, to argue but after a few minutes he just nods his head slowly and our new relationship starts.

Brian's POV

A Couple of Days Later

I'm just leaving work even though it's already past seven o'clock and I'm tired as Hell. But I'm looking forward to seeing Justin because I haven't seen him much the last few days. He never calls me anymore or just pops over. I always have to find or call him if I want to see him.

I knew when he had made his new rules for our relationship that it was a bad thing. But after what I had said there was nothing I could do to change it. Words of protests were bubbling inside me as soon as he finished talking, but I couldn't find a way to express them. And I knew that if I messed it up I could lose him completely but the problem is that it feels like I already have.

Not that I haven't seen him since then; any time I can catch up with him or call him he comes over, but it's not the same any more. It's almost like he's a trick. We have sex but don't talk. We don't eat together. We don't laugh together and it's driving me completely insane. I don't know what I'm supposed to do without him but I know that it's killing me to have this fake relationship with him.

You would think with the extra time I spent at work today that I got a lot of extra work done but it's not true. What I did was to come up with a plan. I don't know if I can live like this any longer. I refuse to lose Justin so I'm willing to do what I've always said I would never do, what I've always told no-one to ever do. I'm going to chase him.

I'm an ad man. I can sell anything and now I'm going to sell me. I know Justin loves me, and I just have to prove to him that I'm willing to do more, and that I will do anything to keep from hurting him again. I'm going to go "all out." I'm going to prove myself to him. This will be the most important campaign of my life.

I head to the jeep to finalize my plans. I've gotten a lot done today, but there are still some things that I need to go over again. I'm almost at the Jeep when my phone rings and looking down I'm sure it's not going to be good news.

"Hello?" I say as soon as I snap open my phone.

"Hey, Kinney. Sorry to call so late but I need to move our meeting back a few hours." I hear the voice of one of my most important clients come across the line.

'Well, fuck!' I scream in my head but I answer in my most professional voice, "No problem, Gary. What time would you like the meeting to be?" I ask, allowing none of my irritation to show in my voice.

"I'd need it to be around five or later." Gary says in an apologetic voice.

I grimace at how much this messes up my plans. Then a thought occurs to me and a grin spreads across my face; this could be even better, I say to myself before answering Gary.

"No problem. Why don't I take you out to dinner and we can have our meeting then?" I ask, hoping he falls in with my newly revised plans.

"That sounds great." Gary answers, much to my delight. We talk business for a few more minutes before hanging up. Although my plans are changed I do think that this way will work even better, and an evil smile creeps across my face.

'Justin Taylor. You had better watch out because I am going to get what I want and what I want is you.' I say in my head.


End file.
